3 point 141592653589
by Kippixin
Summary: ZitaBitters, for Ketsuban Reloaded. One-shot. Rated PG for the fact of the pairing and some deep conversations. If you're sickened by ZB, still a good read as there is some humour and interaction between ZIM and Dib (not romantical).


**3.141592653589...**  
  
  
It was a dare by Ketsu (Ketsuban Reloaded here on Fanfiction.net) to write a romance fiction involving Zita/Bitters (she was the world's first author to write it) and Pi. Inspired by the fact I was ranting about pi the symbol and the awesome amazing movie, Pi. (Which you all should go see). Also considering the fact Pi is my favourite thing in mathematics, and I hate math. This will most likely be one-shot, unless I get really bored.  
  
By the way, references to Ket's fic this thing has. Also, I don't want any flames, cause I'm cool like that. Be COOL, boy! *dances and starts singing from West Side Story*  
  
  
  
  
  
            "Class, now it's time for MATHEMATIKS." Ms. Bitters said in the usual bitter tone to her class. The class groaned.  
            "I would advise you to look out the window to see what happened to the LAST kid who complained," Ms. Bitters said as all the kids turned their heads to look out the window, where they saw a kid running around screaming insanely on the playground. He then promptly exploded, his organs flying everywhere.  
            The class turned their heads back to Ms. Bitters, frightened out of their minds. Except Zita, of course. She was admiring Miss Bitters way with kids so dearly, how she just pushed them aside and no one denied her at all.  
            It was beautiful.  
            Oh yeh, and ZIM. He was laughing evilly because he just watched another human being ruptured.  
            "Um, Miss Bitters, why is ZIM LAUGHING MANIACALLY because that poor kid just exploded all over the playground?" Dib said, not even bothering to raise his hand.  
            Ms. Bitters looked at him annoyingly.  
            "FOOL!" ZIM said, jumping on his desk like he normally did, pointing at Dib.  
            "ZIM WAS NOT LAUGHING, YOU ARE-"  
            "Oh shut up, ZIM!" Zita said, interrupting him.   
            ZIM spun around, pointing at Zita and squeezing one of his eyes shut while the other was bugging out.  
            "FOOL! You dare interrupt the ZIM!" ZIM yelled, spitting into her face.  
            "I dare interrupt the ZIM," Zita mocked, as she wiped the spit off her face,  
            "And stop spitting on my face! Geez! You two are so rude to sit here and interrupt Ms. Bitters's wonderful teaching! She's an amazing teacher! An awesome teacher! I love her! I give my heart to her, my soul! And she's sitting here teaching you and you interrupt her!" Zita said, her eyes closed in a know-it-all expression.  
            ...She then slowly opened them to notice ZIM was not staring bugged-eyed at her anymore, but with his hands down at his sides looking quite disturbed.  
            She looked around...  
            ...The whole class was staring at her oddly.  
            "Um... I didn't..." Zita said then, as the whole class burst out laughing and giggling.  
            "You're in love with our teacher?!" one kid screamed out.  
            "That's sick!" another yelled out.  
            "So that's why you were getting us to sign a birthday card to her!" another said, laughing.  
            "...Man that is kind of disturbing, Zita. I mean I've seen a lot of disturbing things.. but that's just.. disturbing." she heard Dib say in a normal tone of voice across the classroom.  
            "...Well." ZIM said, still quite disturbed, as he sat down, blinking.  
            "..Class! Stop your laughing! We will now be studying mathematiks!" Ms. Bitters yelled, acting as if she heard nothing. The whole class continued laughing.   
            The sky outside started to storm up, clouds forming. It began to rain heavily as lightning started to strike.  
            "I SAID, STOP YOUR LAUGHING!" Ms. Bitters growled. The class shutup. The storm went away and it was happy again outside, birds chirping.  
            "Anyone who denies my authority again will be doomed to a horrible FATE." Ms. Bitters said, hissing.  
            Ms. Bitters went on that day rambling about Pi, the chaos theory, and the Butterfly Effect. (Not the movie.)   
            "AND CLASS, you should pay attention very CAREFULLY. These things are crucial to your ULTIMATE DOOM." Ms. Bitters said, getting up, walking to the board, and pulling down a projection screen.  
            She turned off the lights (MAGICALLY) as the movie started. It showed a cute little butterfly flapping around.  
            The class went "Aww!" as the speaker of the movie came on.  
            "This is a cute sweet little butterfly! It can't do any harm to anyone... BUT IT CAN. Watch as this butterfly flaps it's little wings in Tahiti. It flaps and flaps, and then many years later..."  
            The scene changed to a tornado hitting and people and cows and cars being lunged up into the air.  
            "THIS TORNADO IN KANSAS OCCURED. ALL because of that BUTTERFLY flapping its WINGS. The butterfly is indeed EVIL." the speaker said as it showed a butterfly laughing maniacally with a fiery background behind it.  
            "AND IT'S GOING TO KILL US ALL THAT BUTTERFLY THAT BUTTERFLY IT WILL BE OUR DOOOOOMM WE'RE ALL DOOMED, IT'S SO EVIL, IT'S SO EVVVILLLL," the speaker said, sounding quite evil and hysterical himself.  
            The scene switched to the butterfly cutely and innocently flapping its wings again and flying around.  
            "So, remember kids," the speaker said in a normal tone again, "the butterfly is a dangerous and evil thing!"   
            The movie ended as Ms. Bitters pulled up the projection and MAGICALLY once again turned the lights on.   
            All the kids in the class looked frightened. Except Zita. She wasn't paying attention, she was too embarrassed after what had happened earlier.  
            "And so class now we will also learn that the unknown pattern of pi also has to do with the meaning of life itself, is the number name of God, and is the pattern to the stock market!" Ms. Bitters said, sounding quite funnily... not evil.  
            Dib raised his hand.  
            "YES, DIB?!" Ms. Bitters hissed, sounding her normal self again.  
            "Ms. Bitters! The number name of God is only in the Jewish religion, so what about all those other religions? Is that the name of God in those religions too, or is it merely a fable for them to believe in that they can maybe one day possess this mysterious, and ludicrous if I do say so myself, number?" Dib said, pondering and sounding way too deep for an 11 year old.  
            "Because of school regulations, Dib, I have decided to ignore that question because it's RELIGIOUS!" Ms. Bitters said, indeed ignoring Dib, and sitting down again. The recess bell rang.  
            The kids all shuffled out, ZIM and Dib first, ready to kill each other. Everyone was outside playing, except Zita. She sat in her desk, head down, too embarrassed to go outside.  
            Ms. Bitters slinked herself over to Zita's desk.  
            "ZITA, the bell rang." Ms. Bitters hissed. (She does that a lot.)  
            Zita looked up.  
            "Geez, are you deaf? Didn't you hear what I said and what I wrote all over that paper that one time?!" She said, hurt lingering in her words.  
            "Yes, I did, Zita." Ms. Bitters turned away.  
            "Don't you even care?!" Zita said.  
            "Do you ever pay attention? DOOM, you will all be DOOMED, including you. DOOMED. DOOMED. You will all be sentenced to death, what's the point of crushes and love? It's all DOOM." Ms. Bitters said, turning around, sounding a bit serious for once...  
            "Well, I don't think so. I think someone should be happy while they can before they die. I just want to be happy!" Zita said.  
            Ms. Bitters crouched down so she was eyelevel with Zita (who was sitting on the side of her seat) and said,  
           "Zita, if you want to be happy, then here it is." she said, sounding sane for once, as she wrapped one arm around her, and kissing her.  
            Zita was shocked, this is what she wanted!   
            Ms. Bitters broke the kiss and got up, hissing.  
            "NOW GET OUT THERE AND PLAY. From now on, it's DOOM." she said as she slinked to her seat.  
            Zita blinked.  
            "GO!" Ms. Bitters yelled as she pointed to the door. Zita got up and ran out, skipping all the way.  
  
  
**END  
  
**Ready for you all to be frightened. ^___^


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